Balance.

Earlier today I wrote my blog on Sunday being a Funday, and how sometimes it doesn't go so well. I wrote before that about how I built this new blog, and was getting back on track to writing full time, and that meaning at least something everyday. I wrote about a story I had begun when I was nineteen and it was a big hit among my friends. A piece I had been very into and nearly heart broken to have lost.

I also wrote how it was time to move forward and let the past lie, let go of the past so I can embrace the future. So I did. Today things didn't go my way for the most. My A/C went out, I've been living in my own sweat for a day and enjoying the pleasant scent of my hot panting dogs, but hey it could just be me. I took my time and contacted the warranty people, I have sat around waiting for a call from some sort of tech group, but they won't get to me until tomorrow, because it's Sunday.

Fine and dandy, I refused to let any of this ruin my day. I did what I had to do to set my household right today, sending my wife and kids to stay yet another couple days out of the house. Lucky me, my wife loves me and brought the kids to visit. So after a big boost to my day seeing the smiling little devils I got to go back in the house and work on making changes to my blog layout and things like that.



It also happens to be my big sister's birthday today. So I got in touch with her and said happy birthday and the likes, and she tells me. "Check your email I sent you something." Now this is strange to receive what was sounding an awful lot like a present on her birthday. So as giddy as a child I logged into my email and I receive this.

"Read your blog and saw that you couldn't access this. I still had it and figured you may like. :)"

What do I find attached to the email. My story! "The Halfling", the story I had loved, nurtured and had all but given up hope of ever having it again. I had put it behind me, so I could move on with my life and was content to only know myself what awesome sauce it contained. After crashed hard drive after crashed hard drive, my big sister, the biggest supporter of my life, who has watched over me and never once let me fall without a hand to help me up, had struck again. Handing me nothing but love and support and just being an amazing sister on top of every other wonderful thing she does everyday. And it got me thinking about how the world turns.

The balance.

I believe in everything relating to balance. The belief in Karma or Yin and Yang. These are strong beliefs I have had since I was a child. I was seven years old when I spoke up to my parents about no longer going to church, because I just didn't believe it. Now don't get me wrong I am a believer in "to each his own". But myself I believe in things more grounded, and honestly that leave a more favorable taste in my mouth.

I believe in what I can see, what I can touch, I don't know what you call that...a realist?

Newton's third law states "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions."

It's a beautiful undeniable physics fact. The world is a counter balance system. Look at the use of every single eco system in the world. Very few have species who don't have a way of balancing themselves out, this is especially so where we humans are not found.

You have to have a balance to everything you do, the people you see going down the wrong path are people who don't know how to balance. Addictions are a basic definition of unbalanced, too much of a certain thing. You are supposed to eat a balanced diet, with the right amount of meats, veggies, fruits, cheeses, breads, etc. This last part I have really come to appreciate as I become more refined as I get older, and by that I mean my eating habits changing.

My entire life I have been a "meat and potatoes" guy. It was always ew to salad, ew to veggies, ew to tofu and soy, ew to anything that didn't have a face at one time or was stuffed full of starch and carbs. Now a days, I crave a salad, I eat lettuce on my tacos, I had a burrito today that had tomato on it and I ate it willingly. For anyone who knows me this is a pretty huge deal. But there comes a time when Karma will get you, and balance comes to order.

Ever tell your friend "hey don't do that...stupid idea" and then BAM. Prediction equals the preordained truth. It was inevitable, why, balance. You did something stupid, and the world made you remember it. I see people who goes along these wayward paths and they never walk out of them and they actually get by amazingly. Then you see the world beating down someone who is good and kind and for what?

It's a balance thing, I find the people who are strongest in life deal with more stresses and aggravations, why? Because they can handle it and the douches can't. Balance. But it isn't to say that it won't come back to you. It will and it will come back as equally as it needs to be. Douche gets hit by a car, after being a car jacker his whole life. Person gets beat down his whole life taking care of other peoples dirty crap jobs, turns around and develops some new technology launching him into millionaire-hood and now he's the boss.

This is how I live my life day to day, making decisions based off of return value. But it's like going to Vegas, the right move and the right decision isn't evidently clear to you. You have to use your own merits, your own morals, and your own insights to make these decisions. The correct decision will lead you to a jackpot, or a comped room. The wrong one leaves you drunk and bounced from the casino with no money in your pocket.

This is a big part of any of my serious writing. I love the good versus evil shtick. It allows for grand amounts of interpretation and flexibility. Even things that some might view as evil are good if the means justifies the end. I find I build characters around this theme. True fulcrums to one another. A light side, a dark side, and the ever present winner the neutral side. And when I say neutral I don't mean, "Hey we're going to sit this one out" neutral. The neutral I enjoy is the "Yeah I don't agree with you because you (evil) are just as pampas as you (good) because you are two far to either side and you are skewing the ideas. Evil does good, as long as it benefits evil intent, and good does evil as long as it benefits good intent. Neither are right, nor are they wrong. It's a matter of perspective.

When you can live that neutral life, when you get hit with bad give out some good, and sometimes when you are just too good you have to go do some bad. Not going out and murdering, slashing, developing your own zombie creating agents and these likes...pretty sure that is always just not nice. I'm talking go out and have some drinks, go home with a stranger, smoke some pot, I don't really give a crap as long as no one is maimed, hurt or devoured in the process. This is neutral. You do what you have to do and I will do what I have to do. That line is the key to living balanced.

You have to live at the moment, and react to everything that is thrown in your direction, one way or the other. Some outcomes are favorable, others quite the opposite. But you have to be ready and willing to live with the verdict. Admit what you did wrong and apply it later, to better balance the situation the next time it arises, and you had better bet your sweet ass it will.

We all learned to teeter totter, but for a lot of people after leaving childhood they forget how to play the balance game. I did, I'm sure we all know someone, if we weren't that person ourselves, who did. It's an outlook, it's an opinion. But for me it's a life style, maybe even twisted to benefit myself. Despite all my woes, and failures things like my kids, my wife, my sister, and the wonderful gifts that they bestowed to me today, just go to show me that I have to be doing something right.